Jor's MOVIE review of the THING(s): Election Night Madness Triple Feature!!!!

**Joranthalus** · March 17th, 2004, 03:25 PM

So things ran a little late last night, but luckily i brought in one of those 10 disc sets to watch. Made it through 3 movies with a lot of pausing...

The Severed Arm 1973

Seemed like a made for TV movie, but it was kinda dark, so maybe not. Starred that one guy who's really dorky and has been in many things you've seen...

Anyway, these guys get caught in a cave-in and are trapped for.. oh, i'd say almost an hour before they panic and decide to eat eachother. So first they draw lots, and hack off the arm of this dude to eat it, but then they get rescued.

So like 10 years later one of the guys gets and arm in the mail and he seems remarkably calm about it. Then all the guys start dying and it ends stupidly.

Night of the Ghoul 1975

Hammer film, but not a good one. Stars Grand Moff Tarkin and Kane without the alien popping out of his gut. Boring movie about a ghoul (kinda) and Kane tormenting rich white people.

Said ghoul turns out to be a cannibal living in Tarkin's attic for some undisclosed reason. You first see him 1 hour and 17 minutes into the movie, and he dies 1 hour and 18 minutes into the movie. The movie is 1 hour and 19 minutes long. [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]

Horror Rises from the Tomb 1973
El Espanto surge de la tumba

A Paul Naschy film. If you haven't heard of Naschy you owe it to yourself to check out some of his films. The guy rules. He's like the Spanish Lon Cheney. He's played every monster imaginable, but he's mostly known for being the Wolfman in some silly movies.

His movies are bad, no doubt about it, but it's kind of in an Edwoodian sort of way. There's a passion behind them, and it makes them very watchable.

Anyway, i checked out some Naschy fan sites and they seem to think this is his best work. I think it's just because there is something seriously wrong with his fans and there's lots of euro-bush and naked breasticles in the flick. And even when the euro-trash parts are being covered, they're covered in something sheer.

To summarize the plot, Nashcy is Naschy and he's this dead guy. Same goes for his brother. And they have lots of chicks around. Even the dead ones. And there some great stuff with a living severed head and lots of bush if i didn't mention it before.

7 stars distributed randomly among the titles.

The End

[ March 17, 2004 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Joranthalus ]

**Darkest Angel** · March 17th, 2004, 03:38 PM

I've learned that you cannot make anyone love you...all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. Mild hunger pangs are no excuse for cannibalism! Simple curiousity will do.

**Andyman** · March 17th, 2004, 03:43 PM

Rescuer: "Are you gonna eat that arm?"

**Joranthalus** · March 17th, 2004, 03:47 PM

DA has a good point...

Andy, that comment is too clever for that movie... [img]wink.gif[/img]

**Joranthalus** · March 17th, 2004, 05:45 PM

a little more info on that one guy...

Owl-eyed, adenoidal character actor Marvin Kaplan became an English teacher after studying at New York University and Brooklyn College. Following World War II service, Kaplan attended playwrighting classes at USC, which led to his participation in community theatre. It was Katharine Hepburn who selected Kaplan for the small but telling role of the hapless court stenographer in Adam's Rib (1949). He continued accepting movie and TV supporting parts in the 1950s, usually playing bookish, bespectacled milquetoasts. He is best known to TV sitcom fans as Henry Beesemeyer on the weekly yockfest Alice (1976-1985). Two generations of cartoon fans remember Marvin Kaplan as the voice of Choo Choo on the Hanna-Barbera series Top Cat, a role he has continued to reprise on such animated series as Yogi's Treasure Hunt and Wake, Rattle and Roll into the 1990s. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

**Joranthalus** · March 17th, 2004, 05:50 PM

Great Character Actors

Marvin Kaplan
(1924 - )
Two qualities that make for great character actors are: 1. the characterization and 2. its memorability. The acting is actually secondary if these are present. Marvin Kaplan's portrayals were both interesting and memorable. With his heavy Brooklyn accent, stocky body, round face and his trademark thick horn-rimmed spectacles he was a natural for acting. He was born on January 24, 1924 in Brooklyn, New York and grew up there. As a young man he was educated at New York University and Brooklyn College after which he became a teacher. His yen for acting was strong and after World War II he studied acting and playwriting at the University of Southern California. He was discovered by none other than Katharine Hepburn while appearing in a play at USC. He was soon cast in "Adam's Rib" (1949) with Hepburn, in an uncredited role as a Court Stenographer, his film debut. Among his other film credits are: "Francis the Talking Mule" (1950) as 1st M.C. Lieutenant; "The Reformer and the Redhead" (1950) as Leon; "The Fat Man" (1951) as Pinkie; "Criminal Lawyer" (1951) as Sam Kutler; "Behave Yourself!" (1951) as Max the Umbrella; "Angels in the Outfield" (1951) as Timothy Durney; "I Can Get It for You Wholesale" (1951) as Arnold Fisher; "The Fabulous Senorita" (1952) as Clifford Van Kunkle; "Wake Me When It's Over" (1960) as Hap Cosgrove; "The Nutty Professor" (1963) with Jerry Lewis, as Man at Nightclub; the comedy classic "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" (1963) as Irwin, in his best and funniest role ganging up on Jonathan Winters with Arnold Stang; "The Great Race" (1965) as Frisbee; "Freaky Friday" (1977) as Carpet Cleaner; "Hollywood Vice Squad" (1986) as Man with Doll; "Wild at Heart" (1990) as Uncle Pooch; "Delirious" (1991) as Typewriter Repairman; "Witchboard 2" (1993) as Morris. On TV he was a regular on the series: "Meet Millie" (1952-56) as Alfred Prinzmetal; the animated "Top Cat" (1961) as Voice of Choo Choo; "The Chicago Teddy Bears" (1971) as Marvin; "Alice" (1977-85) as Henry; the animated "Frogger" (1983) as Voice of Shellshock and "Kangaroo" (1984) as Voice of Sidney and "On the Air" (1992) as Dwight McGonigle. He also appeared in the TV movie "Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love" (1994). He has guest starred on such series as: "Honey West"; "The Mod Squad"; "Petticoat Junction"; "I Dream of Jeannie"; "Charlie's Angels"; "MacGyver"; "The Fall Guy"; "Friends"; "ER" and "Becker." He has popped up recently in a Charmin commercial with Mr. Whipple and it is great to see him at work again.

From Great Character Actors, Page 6.

**Cemetery Can** · March 17th, 2004, 07:03 PM

The last flick sounds like the most appealing, which isn't saying much, but it has wacky potentional. All boobulas aside.

And I don't think I've ever head the term "yockfest" before!